Something to Live For
by silvery nekojin
Summary: Kagome wasn't just Kikyo's reincarnation, she was also reincarnated from Midoriko and several other powerful women. When a powerful entity called the Protector inhabits her body, can Kagome help her new friend find peace, before it's too late?
1. Before Kagome Prologue

Something to Live For 

Prologue: Before Kagome... 

By: Silver Neko 

**A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, Yu Yu Hakusho, or any products, movies, or other things mentioned in this fic. Please don't sue me, I'm too young to pay for a lawyer.**

I know I should probably work on From the Outside, Looking In., but I got inspired to do this one, instead. 

This one is in no way related to my first fic, so don't be confused. This isn't the prequel, like I thought I'd work on. 

Please review. If it sucks, give me good constructive criticism on how to fix it. And if it sucks really badly, I won't post anymore. 

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I have lived from the beginning of the Jewel of Four Souls, the Shikon no Tama. I live only to protect it. My first life was as the powerful miko, Midoriko. She is my only incarnation that is still, in her own odd sense, alive, inside the Jewel. 

I wonder, if I had known the pain I would feel in these many lifetimes, would I have ever allowed myself to exist? Now, all I want is release... and the only way for that to happen is if the Shikon no Tama is well and truly destroyed. I wait to be born again. My last incarnation was so close, but she had died just eighteen short years into her life. Not that many of them live much longer. My longest incarnation was in the body of a powerful Taiyoukai who was too proud to let me take over, and to stubborn to die. I grow bored so easily, and all of my lifetimes end and begin in the most profound of sorrow. But the next one will be different. I can feel it. What hell do the gods have in store for me now, I wonder. I'm no great power, no goddess. I'm only the Protector. A lonely protector in search of the bliss called oblivion. Can no one grant that wish? 

I had thought that the poor girl who cared so much for the world around her would be the one, but then she was killed by a monster who was only a human because he had no real power. And right as I was just beginning to manifest myself. With her pure heart, I was so certain that I could persuade her to use it, to use the power of the Jewel in her body for the betterment of others. The temporary bliss of oblivion that came from her death is not enough, you see. I need more than that to be free for good. One of my incarnations _has_ to make an unselfish wish for my freedom. Too bad they always seem to have their own personal hells. Like the Taiyoukai. She was tortured by the mate her soul had chosen, and yet she still stood by him. It grew to be too much, and she wished for his evil to leave the world. Not a bad wish, but made for selfish reasons. She died with her soulmate, and I was cast into oblivion cursing her name. 

'Little one... awaken for me, before your time, yes, but listen well.' I whispered to the little baby, an innocent, still not aware of the world around her. 

'Whossat? You're not Mama! Go away!' The child was actually smart for one so young. 

'Shh. Little one, you are to be a vessel of love. Be kind to all you meet, and do good works for all the world to see. Remember this for always, and listen to the guide in your mind, your conscience.' 

'Soun's easy! I will!' Children are so sweet. And I wasn't even lying to her. Impressionable babies can be anything they want to be, and they don't know anything of the evil in the world. How I wish for a childhood, sometimes. 

'That is excellent. I must leave you now, but I'll be back... someday...' I whispered, receeding to the back of her mind. I'll be there to guide her, but that's all. 

I can only hope she is the one. 

If she's not, I may never be free of this world. 

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**A/N: Well, that was interesting. And it was the prologue. Did you like it? It's an explanation for how Kagome can always be so nice, even to people who hate her. Except for Kikyo. And Naraku. Hrm... Well, a protector would be angry at a failed incarnation, ne? And Naraku tried to kill her several times over, not to mention he's how come Kikyo failed. So that's justified. Whatever. **

Maybe I'll add the Spirit Detectives next chap? Nah. Prolly not until chapter 2 or 3. Enjoy! Also, this is definitely gonna be Hiei/Kagome, if it's any pairings. Not Inuyasha, though. 


	2. The Awakening Ch 1

Something to Live For 

Chapter 1: The Awakening 

By: Silver Neko 

**A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, Yu Yu Hakusho, or any products, movies, or other things mentioned in this fic. Please don't sue me, I'm too young to pay for a lawyer.**

Major time-jump here... Kagome is now (look shocked here) eighteen years old, and she just had a major fight with Inuyasha. This is still from the Protector's POV, just so you know. 

YAY! Muchos gracias, Risha! Doomo arigatou Maibe1! Even though I'm not sure I had a purpose in writing this, past increasing my writing skills! 

Please review. It'll only take a couple of seconds. Honest! If it sucks, give me good constructive criticism on how to fix it, and if I mutilate either Spanish or Japanese, please tell me how to fix it. 

Key:   
'Protector talking to Kagome'   
"''Protector talking through Kagome''"   
"'Kagome talking to Protector'"   
"Normal talking" 

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I wake up to the sounds of a woman's sobbing silently in the 'real' world, and wailing brokenly in her mind. I'm tempted to roll over and go back to sleep before I figure out that I haven't really gotten control of a body to roll over with. Why do I always have to wake up to crying? Why can't I ever wake up after an eighteen-year nap to laughing? Or at least peace? Well, I wasn't fully asleep, I guess. For the past three years, I've been on the brink of waking up, especially after that one really powerful jolt of pain, but I'm not allowed to do anything more than give snippets of advice until my current incarnation hits eighteen. I think I need to get this. . . Kagome. . . to fill me in. 

Before I can even think of speaking to her, I hear the dreaded words. "'I. . . I wish. . .'" Not good. Very very _very_ bad. I have to stop her! I should. . . I should. . . I know! 

'What's the matter?' I ask, placing an ethreal 'hand' on my incarnation's 'shoulder' worriedly, subtly initiating the change. The surroundings in her spirit are torn and a midnight blue in color. A broken heart, huh? Well this is a first. . . . I'll have to start on the broken heart, too, then. Too bad Kagome will have to finish the job. . . no one ever gets 'better' from that just by taking others' help. 

"'Who's there!?!'" Geez! She sure can yell, both mentally and physically. 

From downstairs, I hear a woman call, "Kagome? Honey, what's wrong?" 

My incarnation has a mother? And she's still alive and healthy, and still cares for her offspring? Wow. Another first. "Nothing, Mom!" she yells back. Then, she whispers, "Who are you?" 

'Aww, you don't remember me? I think I'm hurt!' 

"'R-remember you? I've never even met you! And will you please show yourself?'" So polite! Even when whispering out loud. There's an echo in here. . . it's disturbing. 

'Well, I suppose it was eighteen years ago... But I can't show myself because I'm a part of you.' 

"'A. . . part of me? Like the Jewel?'" Kagome is perceptive! 

'Yes, Kagome, like the Shikon Jewel. Exactly like the Shikon,' I say, not caring to elaborate. She's stopped crying. 'Now, what's wrong?' The change is almost complete. . . . 

"'It. . . it's Inuyasha, that jerk!'" Kagome says, sending an unconscious mental image of the dog-eared boy with long silver hair and a medieval costume, while releasing a flare of. . . miko powers? A _miko's_ power? And. . . Inuyasha. . . the name seems familiar, somehow. 

'Who's Inuyasha? The name seems familiar.' I _have_ to ask. It's not possible, is it? 

"'He. . . He chose Kikyo, the corpse, over me! It's not fair! I wish. . .'" I put my spirit hand over her mouth. 

'Don't wish for anything you'll regret. If you ask me, you need to go out and have some fun. So. . . get to it!' Distraction is such a useful tool. Of course, I could tell Kagome my story, and what I want from her, but I'm not supposed to. Sometimes I wish I could tell the gods or the Imp of the Perverse or whoever makes up all these rules where to shove their rules, but I'm _only_ a Protector. I'd be tortured for my next three incarnations at least for such insubordination. 

Damn gods. 

The transformation is done. I hope Kagome likes it. I can hear a pair of children in the living room playing games, an old man downstairs shuffling his feet and sweeping, and the mother cooking in the kitchen. 

"'What the. . .'" Kagome sounds confused at all the sounds and scents. I notice that, tinged with the salt of tears, my incarnation smells like cherry blossoms and jasmine. Sweet smell. "'I shouldn't be able to hear all of that! Or smell how this room smells or what dinner smells like. . . .'" Her fluffy tail curled over her shoulder and she practically shrieked. Fortunately, while I was manifesting, I got a better handle on her body, so I managed to strangle the shriek. Then I let go of her body. 

'I'm sorry, Kagome! But when I manifest, it's always like that. There _are_ some perks to this, though.' 

"'Like what?!'" she hisses, very angry at me. I'm glad I'm a part of her and she can't do bodily harm on me. . . very glad, since now she has something of a combination of all the powers of all of my incarnations combined. You see, when I manifest, I'm basically taking all of the pre-acquired power that I've gotten and making my newest incarnation stronger. 

'Well,' I say, scanning her memories in the hope that I can come up with something positive, 'at least this Inuyasha can't say you're useless anymore.' I slightly doctored what was in her memories, in truth he just called her weak. 

"'I thought you didn't know who Inuyasha was?'" She's suspicious too. . . . 

'He sounds like an old boyfriend. . . .' He actually sounds like the same guy my failed incarnation was in love with. The name even fits. But it can't be. . . 'Anyway, didn't I tell you to go have fun? So why are you still here?' 

"'I can't go out like _this!_ People don't believe in youkai anymore! I didn't believe in youkai until my fifteenth birthday!'" That could be problematic. 

'Okay, I'll do something for you. But first, go check yourself in a mirror, or I'll get it all wrong.' She gets up and walks to her bathroom, doing as I told her and moving softly so as not to alert anyone to the fact that she's not moping anymore. We arrive at a full length mirror in her bathroom, and when she looks at herself, half fearful, half curious, my breath wouldd have caught in my throat, if I had one. My incarnation is absolutely drop-dead gorgeous. Not that they aren't generally pretty, but she had ice blue eyes, instead of the amber I'm used to, and long, silvery white hair that went down past her hips, streaked with blue-black, her original hair color. She's wearing a black tank top that had the kanji for beautiful on it, black jeans that flared at the bottom, and has a gorgeous, slim, hourglass-shaped figure. Her claws were short and delicate, and the same went for her fangs. She had a blue crescent moon on her forehead, purple stripes on her cheeks, and purple stripes on her wrists, along with what appeared to be red eyeshadow, although it was just another part of her markings. 

"'I look like Sesshomaru. . . why?'" Again, she shows me an image, and again, the stoic youkai looks vaguely familiar, as though I'd caught a glimpse of him, and nothing more. 

'We do _not_ look like him, we look much nicer than that and you know it! But as to the markings, I was a powerful Taiyoukai in one of my more recent lives. What I'd like to know is, simply put, who are all these people you mention?' I'm still checking myself out in the mirror, using her eyes. 

"'Narcissist. . . .'" I'm hurt! 

'Am not!' 

"'Are too! Anyway, on my fifteenth birthday, when I was chasing Buyo, my cat, I fell down the Bone Eater's Well.'" 

'Smart move. . . .' 

"'Hey, it wasn't my fault! Anyway, because the Shikon Jewel was in my body, I was powerful enough, and I got dragged back 500 years in the past, where I freed Inuyasha from the Goshinboku tree. A lot of things happened, and then Inuyasha ended up with a rosary on his neck that allowed me to literally 'sit' him, and I broke the Shikon no Tama. Slowly we learned more about how the hanyou Naraku, who had once been Onigumo, had tricked Inuyasha and Kikyo into 'killing' each other.'" This tale is taking on chilling familiarity. 

'I kept telling her that Inuyasha wouldn't act like that. . . she never believed me. Sometimes I almost wish she had, but that would alter history, and given the Shikon's tendency for evil, it would probably have been for the worse. . . .' 

"'You. . . were in Kikyo, too?'" 

'I was, until she died. She didn't do anything bad before she died, but continue your story, please?' 

"'Well, a witch named Urasuae(sp?) brought Kikyo back, using part of my soul, her hatred for Inuyasha, and some bones and grave soil. To make a long story much, much shorter, we met a kitsune kit named Shippo, a perverted monk named Miroku, and a tajiya named Sango, who helped us beat Naraku. Then. . .'" Kagome seems to be angry at the memory. 

'Inuyasha picked the corpse over you?' I'm taking a random guess. 

"'Yeah, but what's more, she made him promise to go to hell with her. Fortunately, during one of our encounters, I got all of my soul back, so Kikyo didn't have any of _my_ soul, just those of the poor lost women. But Inuyasha. . .'" 

I lay my ethreal hand on her shoulder again. 'What about having fun, Kagome?' 

"'I still can't go out like this! Jii-chan would absolutely _die_ if he knew his grandaughter was a youkai!'" 

'You mean the old man with absolutely no power?' I'm smirking inwardly. 'He won't ever have to find out, Kagome. Your mom, though. . .' The woman downstairs would know just by looking at Kagome. And if one of the kids downstairs was the kitsune kit Kagome had mentioned, he'd know she was different by smelling the change in her scent. Damn. 

"'Well, work your magic, then, if you want to have fun so much!'" She's kinda impatient, isn't she? 

'Okay, but pay attention. I might not always be around to show you how to do this.' Kagome doesn't believe me. Well, I wouldn't believe me. 

I take control of her body all at once and begin to chant, slowly enough that she can catch the words and remember them the first three times, then speeding through it the next few times, because taking over someone with as much power, both in the fighting sense and with her will, as Kagome had is damned hard. I mean it! 

'You have to picture what you want to look like as you chant that, though. Just so you know. Did I get it right?' She has her same outfit, but her markings were gone, and her hair was black with blue highlights, like I figure she looked like, before I manifested. 

"'You got it right. . . .'" 

'But. . .?' 

"'But. . . well, what about Shippo-chan? He's a youkai too, you know. And you said something about Okaa-san. . . .'" 

'Your kaa-san's fairly understanding, right?' when we-- Kagome-- nodded, I continued. 'And Shippo will probably be ecstatic that you can really adopt him.' I'm already using her knowledge. Pretty soon, I'll know everything she knows, if this goes well. 

After Kagome sighed and nodded, we walk downstairs. The kit looks up suddenly and leaps into ou- Kagome's arms. "Kaa-san! I can't believe you're a youkai now! That's so great! How'd it happen?! Did you. . ." the kit gets a worried look on his face. 

"''No, Shippo, your okaa-san didn't wish on the Shikon Jewel. But it was time, and I manifested myself. The Jewel's evil side won't taint your mother.''" I say through Kagome, smiling reassuringly. Kagome's eyes turned amber as I spoke, then flashed back into the blue color She's used to. The kitsune kit seems like he's about to speak up, but a voice behind us interrupts. 

"Kagome-chan. . .?" 

Kagome's mother, from behind her, sounds shocked. "Kagome-chan. . . .? Kagome-chan. . . what happened to you? And what's that other prescence around you?" 

Perceptiveness apparently runs in the family. "Kagome-neesan? Why do you have white hair like Inuyasha?" Kagome winces at the comparison. I suppose she's still sad about it. But it was his choice anyway, not hers. 

"What's all this racket? Kagome-chan looks exactly the same as she always did!" I swear, everyone does an anime-style sweatdrop as the more sensitive members of the family sort-of glare at the old man. 

"A-hahaha..." Kagome laughs nervously. "Anyway, I'm going out, 'kay, 'kaa-san?" Kagome dashes outside and down the street, not waiting for her mother to answer. 

'I hope you realize you're going to have to face the questions eventually.' 

"'Well, yeah, but. . ." 

'Ah, who cares? Now, where do we go around here for some fun?' Kagome starts thinking for a minute. 

About a half an hour later, we're standing outside some club somewhere that emits music that's already obscenely loud from outside the closed door. When Kagome opens the door, I'm ready to turn around and run. Why must humans torture themselves like this? 

'Kagome-sama?' I use highly polite persuasion here, because it's harder to overpower her will than I'd care to admit. 'Please, please, please, _please_ tell me this isn't where that Hojo-kun guy took you on any sort of date. Because if it is, we're not going in there. Got it? We're not going in there and if you try to bust our ear drums how will you listen to your senseis or your 'kaa-san or any new guys or anyone? Please don't make us go in there?' 

"'You're the one who wanted to have fun, so we're going in,'" Kagome can certainly hold her own in a battle of wills. But when she starts hurting from this experience, it's her own fault! And I am so-o-o going to drag us out of there if I have to crawl. 

'But this _isn't_ going to be fun! It's going to hurt!' 

"'Let's just go in already.'" 

I'm trying to get her to at least cover her ears. But she adamantly refuses, until the pain on our ears is too much even to conquer her stubborn-ness, and we're running outside in tears, my amber eyes showing through the spell as I have my ears covered with my hands. 'S. . . see? I. . . told you. . . it would hurt. But _you_ wouldn't listen!' 

We're still running, when we run into someone. I would have had us keep on running, but the guy is actually fairly strong for a huma-- he isn't human. A second after we run into him, I let Kagome take over, and she senses the Kitsune spirit in the rose-smelling nice guy. I wonder if the kitsune is as gorgeo- of course he is; all kitsunes are gorgeous. I'm glad it's Kagome who looks up into his eyes, apologizing furiously, probably embarrassed about how distracted I was that I could just run into someone like that. 

I wouldn't have been able to say anything while looking into those amber-tinted emerald depths. I do believe I'm smitten. . . . 

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A/N: ¡Hola, minna-san! (mixing up languages here. . .) Honorifics are about to drive me nutty! But you didn't want/need to know that. 

Well, that was interesting. I think I suddenly made the Protector much too childish. But, thinking about it, she hasn't had a whole lot of to-herself-time to mature or anything. I just love the whole skitzo act, like when people do it to Shuuichi and Youko. It's just, well, funny! Does Kagome have enough of a backbone to satisfy? Sorry, if not. 

I just had an interesting, completely irrevelant, thought. Shiori is Kurama's mom, and Shiori is also the name of a bat hanyou in episode 73 of Inuyasha. Wierd. 

Yeah, I know it's a Hiei/Kagome ficcie. . . but I have an interesting idea for the Protector, and, if you notice, Kagome isn't exactly as impressed with him as she is. 

Ideas are very much welcome! Flames are not! Thank you! 


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